Matilda Krinkles'
Grouse Gallery
For All Your Spiritual Wants
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This is Matilda Krinkles.
She is my life coach and the only reason that I am able to get up in the morning and not wear mismatched tube socks, a barbeque sauce stained mumu, and drink day-old hot chocolate while huffing spraypaint, afflictions which are experienced by a good number of the youth I cavort with.
Behind her is Igor, a 7 year old elephant, and her best friend.
I wish I was her best friend, but she says that not until I open my 5th Crystal Chakra will I even be eligible to fill out her Highly Rigorous Best Friend Exam.
Anyways, when I told Matilda I was going to make a website, she said it was time for me to "give back" to her and to the world by presenting her grouse gallery.
The Healing Properties of the Grouse
The grouse is highly regarded in many cultures and religions as a soothing bird.
If you stare intently into its beak for 12 minutes while chanting a fable about a rich man, a poor man, and a magical shoehorn, you are guaranteed a spiritual experience.
Please enjoy:
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