Dustin is a
Rude Nude Dude
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Hi! My name is Dustin! I’m one rude nude dude, but maybe you’ve gathered that by now.
Thanks for coming to visit me. Sometimes I get lonely. Do you ever get lonely? Actually, we really didn’t come here to talk about you. We came here to talk about me.
I have many interests, including pickling acorns, snack factories, jethro tull, tummy tickles, slime chigglers, cocoon biscuits, gingerbread mackerel snacks, the steelers, and my awesome band, DROOPY CORVETTE!
One time I looked out the window and I saw a sunshine sparkle, and one time my roommate Lulu yelled at me because I left a loogie in the bathroom sink, but you know what? She’s a real hunk of junk, a real bitch-canoe, a seven layer bean dip burrito laced with nacho cheese made out of liverwurst that’s been inside the teva sandal of a trained baboon for at least 20 minutes. I also have a roommate named Chelsea, but she’s the bees knees, the kitten’s whiskers, the softest part of the living room blanket that doesn’t smell like drool and Doritos.
Whoa, all this talk about me, and I forget that my personal life coach told me to urgently demand people to look at her grouse gallery.